In part one we looked at the foundation of fellowship, which came from our need, from Christ’s work, and from our worship together. Part two talked about the facilitation of fellowship in expressing vulnerability, going through trials together, and going through conflict with each other. This last article will show how to foster fellowship with each other through the application of all that has been said before. Fellowship is something to put into action.
7. Serve Together to Develop Fellowship
Fellowship events aren’t bad, but often they are more “events” than they are “fellowship.” Men’s ministries seem especially bad at this. Men are known to form bonds by doing things together, and so churches fill their calendars with trips for fishing, shooting at gun ranges, rucksack marches, steak dinners, and other manly events. None of these are wrong things in themselves, but if that’s all they are, they aren’t really fellowship and are barely even ministry. They never move to Hebrews 10:25, “Let us consider how to provoke one another to love and good works.” Let’s be honest, men in our culture have a harder time talking with each other, and doing a physical activity is an outlet for masculine friendship. One of the things that can powerfully bring people together is by being on mission together.
Those who have been in the military and then get out often say that the thing they miss most is the camaraderie they had when they were in. That’s not something the military invented though; it’s how God designed us. We have the Great Commission, the grandest mission of all ages. Galatians 5:13 says, “For you, brothers, were called for freedom. Only don’t use your freedom for gain to the flesh, but through love be servants to one another.” As we serve together, we grow together. Even a church workday has made me feel more connected to others because we accomplished something together. 1 Peter 4:10 says, “As each has received a gift, employ it in serving one another, as good stewards of the manifold grace of God.” As we use our gifts, lockstep in arm with other believers for a kingdom purpose, we will develop fellowship with each other.
8. Encourage and Help One Another to Build Fellowship
How we talk about each other and to each other is one of the most crucial factors in maintaining fellowship. Snarky, condescending, overly sarcastic, or constantly critical conversation is detrimental to fellowship. We should actively encourage each other with what is good. If we can’t acknowledge anything good, then we need to get to know that person more. There are times when correction is necessary, but encouraging what is good has far more influence to reinforce good behavior than threatening does to correct bad behavior. Ephesians 4:29 says, “Let no corrupt speech proceed out of your mouth, but only what is good for building others up as the need may be, that it may give grace to those who hear.” What we say must not only be truth, but what fits the occasion. It could be a right truth but the wrong occasion given the circumstances. We need actively to find ways to build each other up rather than speech that corrupts fellowship.
We aren’t only to love in words, but also in deed and truth (1 John 3:17-18). That means we also help each other tangibly when we can. When we do good for each other the fellowship between us is strengthened. Galatians 6:10 says, “So then, as we have opportunity, let’s do what is good toward all men, and especially toward those who are of the household of the faith.” Do good, and then in turn have them do good towards you. The point isn’t to rack up favors. The point is that by genuinely showing care, fellowship can flourish.
So Now What?
How do we break down these 8 points into simple, bite-sized, baby steps towards deeper fellowship? The first thing to do is start by changing your conversations when you are together. Rather than talking about the weather or current events, ask all or even just one of these questions to move past the superficial and move towards real fellowship. The more you ask and share these questions, they become as commonplace in our conversations as “So how was your week?” or “How’s it going?” but with the benefit of having spiritually-bonded koinonia fellowship in mind.
Question 1 (Worship): “What are you thankful to God for?”
Question 2 (Learn): “What is God teaching you?”
Question 3 (Serve): “How are you putting it into action?”
Question 1 is about worshiping together and relates to points 1-3 mentioned before. Question 2 is about what God is teaching us as we grow through both the Scriptures and also what we are going through in life and relates to points 4-6. Question 3 is about serving God and how we are applying what God is teaching us in real life, which relates to points 7-8. Asking these questions, and by being asked these questions by others, changes our interactions to support and enhance fellowship. In the end, our togetherness isn’t through a multitude of more social events, but through intentional and real fellowship that bonds us together in Christ.
Bound Together: A Sonnet for Fellowship
Bound together in bondage free,
God formed a people set apart.
Disconnected? Not you and me.
All in Christ are bound in heart.
Fellowship is God’s gift of love,
though the packaging may be rough.
The source is from the Trinity above
but lived out through earthly stuff.
So, we must share who we are
with God’s family here below.
Show weakness, injury, and scar
That each other we may truly know.
Alone, we never need to walk or strive.
It is through fellowship that we survive.
Eric Ayala is a pastor, healthcare chaplain, and seminary professor. He earned degrees from Moody Bible Institute, Midwestern Baptist Theological Seminary, and Anderson University. He holds professional certifications in spiritual care, palliative care, and end-of-life support. He has also served in homelessness recovery ministry, spiritual counseling, traumatic crisis support, and ethics committees for healthcare organizations. He currently serves Reformation Church in Plant City, FL.